Why is it so stinking hard to say, "I can't do this. I need help. I need someone to teach me. Guide me. Lead me through this. I need someone to coach me. Instruct me. Encourage me…." Why is that so hard?
And this isn't just an adult issue. We see this in young children. For instance, a mom or dad bends down to tie their child's shoe and the child defiantly looks at them and says, "NO! I want to do it myself!"
So whether we are four years old or forty years old, we don't like asking for help. Why?
Maybe because it shows weakness. Vulnerability. A lack of strength. When we ask for help, we are admitting that we don't have all the answers. We must admit to ourselves and to others, we are weak, fragile creatures. We can't do life on our own. We need others to come alongside us and live life with us. And this is very hard to do for prideful, hard-headed, ego-driven human beings.
We say, "NO! I want to do it myself!"
In college, I was known as the positive, happy-go-lucky, always-has-a-smile-on-her-face Nat. That was me. BUT I couldn't ignore the fact that I was crying myself to sleep at night and trying desperately to "keep it all together." I was dying inside, but fine on the outside until one day I sat in the doctor's office and he said, "you're clinically depressed."
WTF was honestly my gut reaction. I was like, "What?!?! Do you know who I am? Do you know the reputation I have? I can't be depressed!" But it was true. I went on an anti-depressant shortly after that and it did help me get through that season. I needed help and I'm so grateful I got it.
At first I was pleasantly surprised when the numbers on the scale began to drop, but then they kept dropping. And dropping. And dropping. I got compliments from random people about how good I looked, but I knew inside it was wrong. I knew I needed to ask for help. BUT that would mean admitting weakness. That would mean admitting I don't have what it takes to do this on my own. That would mean getting some accountability. That would mean humbling myself. That would mean vulnerability and authenticity.
"Oh no, I can't do that," I thought. "That's too scary." What will people say? What will people think? I will be shamed. I will be embarrassed….So I didn't ask for help for awhile until one day I knew at 5'5" and weighing about 105 pounds, I needed help. So I raised the white flag of surrender, sent my SOS message out and I got help. And I'm so glad I did.
So be brave. Show courage. Flex those muscles and ask for help. Whatever it is you might be struggling with, ask for help. It's the best way to love yourself.