Read on for quotes and a summary of the article. Great read for any perfectionists out there--those striving to be all things to all people. You know who you are! ;)
The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting...Why, when we know that there's no such thing as perfect, do most of us spend an incredible amount of time and energy trying to be everything to everyone?
We get sucked into perfection for one very simple reason: We believe perfection will protect us.
Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be our best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth; it's a shield. Perfectionism is a 20-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from being seen and taking flight.
Living in a society that floods us with unattainable expectations around every topic imaginable, putting down the perfection shield is scary. Finding the courage, compassion and connection to move from "What will people think?" to "I am enough," is not easy.
"I am enough"
Why we're all so afraid to let our true selves be seen and known. Why are we so paralyzed by what other people think? After studying vulnerability, shame, and authenticity for the past decade, here's what I've learned.
A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong.
As I conducted my research interviews, I realized that only one thing separated the men and women who felt a deep sense of love and belonging from the people who seem to be struggling for it. That one thing is the belief in their worthiness. It's as simple and complicated as this:
"If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging."
Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.
Letting go of our prerequisites for worthiness means making the long walk from "What will people think?" to "I am enough." But, like all great journeys, this walk starts with one step, and the first step in the Wholehearted journey is practicing courage.
The root of the word courage is cor -- the Latin word for heart...Courage originally meant to speak one's mind by telling all one's heart.
Written by Brené Brown; she is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent 10 years studying vulnerability, shame, authenticity, and courage. She is the author of The Gifts of Imperfection (Hazelden) and has a blog on courage.
Content taken from from CatalystConference.com. Check out their site for other great resources and articles that will encourage you and make you think.